remember when i dug a hole and put myself in it because i wanted to be closer to the earth and i wanted to feel like a plant and then this fucking old man came and tried to kill me
i think that’s enough internet for one day
i like how someone stopped to take a picture while you were being killed
one time my sister was working at home depot and got called down to help handle an outrageously angry man returning a lawnmower and it was our dad
[stares longingly at my pile of video games i haven’t played yet]
[wipes away a tear as i continue to play a game i’ve already finished 1000 times]
THIS IS THE FUCKING PHONE THAT I LOST IN DECEMBER.
AFTER THE SNOW MELTED, I FOUND IT THIS MORNING FROZEN IN THE ICE.
HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET OUT THERE.
IT’S TURNING ON
WHAT IN THE HELL
IT’S IN MINT CONDITION.
THE SPEAKERS WORK, THE HEADPHONE JACK WORKS, THERE’S NO CRACKS
i have been planning on getting my shit together for like 5 years now
and what a great investment that was
TIGERS DO THE STUPID TONGUE THING TOO???
hello friend, big cats do the same stupid shit small cats do. every single dumb thing you’ve seen a housecat do, tigers and lions also do thing except they are worse at pulling it off like they meant to do it